Self-love is a hard topic for me to talk about. I know this because I’ve began this blog approximately 7 times and haven’t been able to get past the first paragraph.
As of recent, this topic has been on my mind a lot. The new year has inspired women all over my Instagram feed to embrace themselves. They’re not afraid to show off their bodies and love their imperfections. I like and comment on their photos, cheering them on from the sidelines. I’m able to support other girls in their self-love journey, but why not mine?
I guess I’m not sure where to start. When I look in the mirror, all I can see are my imperfections. My eyebrows aren’t even, my face is breaking out because of stress, my shoulders are too broad, I’ve gained weight... I could go on. Self-love isn’t limited to just physical appearance either. I rarely think my work is ever good enough, rather, that I’m good enough. I wonder if my friends are truly my friends, or when they’ll change their minds about me, and leave me for better. And from there, it’s just a downward spiral into my depression. Despite my cheery personality and ever sarcastic humor, I’m pretty miserable
“Hello darkness, my old friend.”
What does self-love even mean? To start loving myself, I should know its definition and how to do so, right? I’ve watched a lot of YouTube videos, read multiple blogs, and listened to too many podcasts. One thing I know for sure is that there’s not a correct definition for self-love. I think it’s safe to say the concept of self-love is very fluid, and it’s definition is different to every person. So, what does self-love mean to me?
I think self-love is to believe that you are worthy of everything that life has given you. It’s accepting all the shit life has thrown at you, but moving forward and learning from your mistakes and bad times instead of letting these memories consume you. We are all human. It’s not just accepting your physical appearance, but working towards a healthier, happier state while loving yourself though the journey. It’s embracing exactly who you are, and who you will become.
The first step to loving myself is surrounding myself with people that love me unconditionally, who will cheer me on in whatever life choices I make (unless it's buying another cat... please don't let me do that), and will help pick me back up when I fall. When I look in the mirror, I’ll embrace my broad shoulders, tiny Asian nose and eyes, because that’s what makes me, me. I won’t worry about the weight I’ve gained, because I know I’ll shed off the pounds while practicing new habits like eating healthy and exercising. No more lloyd burritos for me 😭.
Although these steps look easy on paper, it’s going to be hard, really hard. And I’ll probably slip up… a lot. Like come on, who doesn’t love a lloyd burrito!? But in all seriousness, this year is about me, my health and wellness, and just growing into the person I want to become. If you’d like to join me in my journey of self-love, be my guest! Reach out to me on FB or slide into my DMs. If we haven't talked in a while, once at a basement party, or not at all, I'm here to support you. ❤️